


Little House

by JustWaitingForMyRealLifeToBegin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Amputation, Angst, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Songfic, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-07 06:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17360759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustWaitingForMyRealLifeToBegin/pseuds/JustWaitingForMyRealLifeToBegin
Summary: Severus is bullied and ends up in the hospital wing where a shocking revelation is made.





	1. Little House

**He doesn't look, he doesn't see  
Opens up for nobody**

Severus Snape was a depressed kid and there was no doubt about it. He hated the world that he lived on and the body that he lived in. Quite honestly, there was nothing happy about his depressing life.

“Oi Snivellus, I missed you” a familiar voice rung out behind him. He hated that ‘so-called’ nickname.

Severus’ ears burned and the fourteen-year-old knew without looking that it was James Potter and his band of misfits. The four boys were relentless with their abhorrent and despicable pranking. James would always prank him for no good reason. The boy’s only reason was that Severus was a Slytherin and that he was a Gryffindor, thus making the latter house better and above the former. 

“What do you want Potter?” Severus snapped, his voice with no shortage of hatred in it. The boy didn’t bother to turn his head and look at the four of them. He knew that James was going to do something to him, but the dark-haired boy didn’t exactly know what. He did know that whatever James said, it was going to hurt him. Severus had faced so much torture from James and the other boys that he didn't let the words bother him. They still stung and inflicted emotional damage upon the poor boy, but Severus tried not to focus on that.

“I just wanted to say _Os Brachium Confractus_ to you.” James said, moving his wand as he muttered the spell. Severus felt immediate pain in his left arm and knew that James had broken it. Severus tried not to let the pain bother him as he quickly walked out. The treatment that he received from James often reminded him of how his own father treated him.

“Stupefy,” James shouted and Severus fell unconscious.

**Figures out, he figures out  
Narrow line, he can't decide**

When Severus woke up, he was in a room that smelled similar to antiseptic. His eyes opened up to the familiar sight of the hospital wing. The boy sighed, having been here way too many times for an average second year. He couldn’t recall who had brought him here or why both of his arms were wrapped up (only his left arm had been broken) but he never planned on telling anyone about the self-harm. When his father found out about that, the punishment was absolutely cruel. 

_You little whore! I’ll make this the most painful sex that you have ever had!_

That memory was painful for Severus to recall. It was when he was forced to make dinner for his father during early August, making it almost a month ago. The boy had just started his fourth year. He had been slitting his wrists because when he made pain on the outside, the pain on the inside went away. If he didn’t hurt so much on the inside, maybe he wouldn’t cause pain on the outside. Either way, it was completely his fault. 

Madame Pomfrey, seeing that her patient was up, briskly walked over to the weakened boy. While he was out, she had cast a diagnostic spell on the boy and had found some rather alarming results, some suggesting sexual abuse and self-harm. She had never done this before because when Severus came to the hospital wing, it was usually apparent what his injury was, but not this time.“Severus, can you explain what happened to your arm?” She asked, easing into the question.

“Potter hexed me. I didn’t do anything wrong-”

Poppy interrupted him, “-No, the other arm. The one with the scars.” She already knew that he cut himself but she needed to learn why he did it.

“I c-can’t tell you,” Severus stammers, attempting to get out of the bed. 

**Everything short of suicide  
Never hurts, nearly works**

Severus was ten the first time that Tobias had raped him. His mother had just committed suicide, leaving her son and her husband alone. The man felt sexually deprived and felt that having sex with his child was the best way to go, despite it being quite illegal. To Tobias, there were no possible consequences. With the introverted nature of his son and the silent nature of the night activities, there was no way that anyone would ever figure out what he did to his son.

He started cutting himself at the age of eleven. The discovery was made in potions class where he accidentally sliced his finger while cutting up Comfrey root for his potion. Blood immediately rushed out of the wound and Severus found that it made him feel slightly better. 

The boy also attempted suicide in the middle of his third year. He had taken a very strong painkiller potion and had slit his wrists until he bled out. This didn’t go the way that he planned and Slughorn had found him. Severus had managed to convince his head of house that he had been attacked by someone. If one looked close enough, they could still see the scars. 

**Something scratching its way out  
Something you want to forget about**

(Half an hour ago…)

Poppy Pomfrey was greeted with a distraught first year. Usually, in these cases, she would administer a calming draught after hearing their story and have them sent off. She quickly turned around and faced the girl who had tears running down her face. “Could I have your name sweetheart?” Poppy asks so she could make a record of this girl. 

“Kathryn Hale,” the girl cries, wiping her eye with a hand. “I think I saw a dead kid in the hall. He wouldn’t respond when I poked him.”

Poppy springs out of her seat and asks, “Where did you see this?” 

“I’ll show you,” Kathryn says, showing Poppy where to go.

The two females eventually arrive at Severus who is crumpled in a heap on the floor. Poppy checked for a pulse on the boy, sighing in relief when she found one. It was a little hard to check for a pulse. Combined with nerves, Poppy could understand why a first year would think someone is dead when they see them in the middle of nowhere unconscious. “Mobilicorpus,” Poppy says, lifting the body of the young wizard into the air and taking him into the hospital wing. 

Once they arrived at the hospital wing, Poppy put the floating boy into a hospital bed and left him there and cast a monitoring spell on him while she gave Kathryn a calming draught. The first year left the infirmary quickly, just Poppy and Severus. The Mediwitch recognized the boy, he was sent to the wing rather often with injuries that were inflicted upon him by his relentless peers. She didn’t know what was the cause of the boy becoming unconscious. “Medicinae Historia” she whispered.

The results were alarming, to say the least. The boy had been stupefied, most likely from the Potter boy and his cronies. This reminded her of her own tormenting from bullies. The bone breaking hex had also been used. She was no stranger to the conflict between him and Severus and wished that Dumbledore would actually do something instead of sitting around and watching. But the three worst parts of the chart read Sexual Abuse (by father), Attempted Suicide, and Self-harm (check wrists). 

**A part of you that'll never show  
You're the only one that'll ever know**

 

“Why can’t you tell me, Severus. I already know what happened.” Poppy says. “I know that you slit your wrists.”

Severus broke down into tears. He had his secret discovered and he didn’t know how to react to this. He didn’t want the nurse to force antidepressant potions down his throat and force him to talk to someone. He was the only one that was allowed to bear the burden of his life. At the sight of his tears, Poppy felt bad for the boy who had been through so much in a short amount of time.

 **Take it back when it all began  
** Take your time, would you understand  
What it's all about?

Poppy was reminded of her own past and how she was treated. She had been a Slytherin as well and had been tortured by her housemates because she was a half-blood. She wasn’t abused by her parents, thankfully, but Dumbledore hadn’t listened to her, as a small eleven-year-old. He didn’t listen to the concerns that she had about her housemates and how they treated her. He just dismissed it as childhood playfulness. 

But Poppy knew that it wasn’t the case. She knew that bullies were a force to be reckoned with and that only a few people could stop the power that they held over people. Dumbledore had to be convinced.

And so Poppy found herself talking to the Headmaster- no pleading. She pleaded for the Headmaster to make a change, she showed him the diagnostic spells. And finally, the stubborn old coot had decided to change his stance on things and take a stand. The Headmaster sent letters to the family of the four boys that tormented Severus, informing them of the actions of their sons. 

**Something scratching its way out  
Something you want to forget about**

Eventually, all four of the boys apologized for the hurt they caused Severus. Poppy didn’t see a change in the boy. He didn’t smile any more than he already did. The boy didn’t look happy with the way that things were going. During meals, he barely ate, leading to his slight build shrinking even further. 

Poppy couldn’t handle it anymore and asked the boy what was going on in his life.

**No one expects you to get up  
All on your own with no one around**

“What’s going on Sev?” She asks.

“No one cares about me.” He replied.


	2. How to Save a Life

“What’s going on Sev?” She asks.

“No one cares about me.” He replied.  
**Step one, you say we need to talk  
** He walks, you say sit down, it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through   
“Sev, that’s not true. I care about you,” Poppy said. The fourth year was sitting against the wall in a dimly lit hallway. The paintings on the wall acted like nothing was going on. Poppy knew that it wasn’t normal for a young boy to be sitting against the wall, with his knees up to his forehead. But the paintings were acting as if that was a regular occurrence. Poppy knew she would look into it later.  
“What does it matter,” Severus replied. “No one else does.” Normally, he would have said two people cared about him, Poppy Pomfrey and Lily, but that wasn’t as true anymore. He had been drifting away from Lily for quite some time and this meant that she wasn’t around as much anymore. She also didn’t know about the molestation, the pain he was forced to go through every time he saw his father’s eyes. Lily only knew about the physical bruises and the broken bones. He prepared to leave.  
“Sev, we need to talk. Would you like to do it in private?” The mediwitch asked.  
Severus shrugged his shoulders, “I guess.”  
“Let’s go to the hospital wing then,” Poppy says, the two of them and they slowly reach the room. It smelt faintly of antiseptic and the air had a sharp tang to it.  
Poppy invited the boy into her personal office and pulled out a chair for him to sit in. Most people didn’t know it, but Madam Pomfrey was actually a licensed therapist. This was beneficial for talking to students who might happen to be suicidal. She couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable Severus was. He was fidgeting and seemed quite apprehensive about the whole situation.  
“Severus, why do you feel that no one cares about you?” Poppy asks, pulling out a dictating quill and a piece of parchment to record what Severus said.  
“I just do,” Severus says, seemingly unsure about his answer. Any good therapist could tell he was lying and that the  
Poppy waited for her quill to finish recording his response and then asked, “Severus, I know that’s a lie, can you please tell me the truth?”  
**Some sort of window to your right  
** As he goes left, and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came   
The boy sighed and said, “No one in my house really likes me. They think I’m inadequate because of my blood status, which is unfair. It’s like me saying that they’re automatically amazing at magic because they’re all pureblooded. I have to constantly prove myself in order to fit in. And yet- they can get away with being terrible at magic just because they have four magical grandparents.”  
Those words rang completely true for Poppy who was also in Slytherin. She had been bullied for the same reasons and also found it hard to fit in. There was no doubt about it- Slytherins were the most biased out of all of the houses. “Do you have any friends in other houses?” she asked.  
“Well, I guess I kind of do; we aren’t really that close anymore. I miss her” Severus replied, thinking of Lily. Oh, how he missed her long red hair and emerald eyes. The four bullies had separated the two of them. His heart hurt just thinking about it.  
“What’s her name?” Poppy asked.  
“Lily Evans.”  
“Have you been harming yourself lately?” Poppy asked, deciding she would trust the boy and not pry, even if he sounded like he was lying. She needed to establish a trusting relationship with the boy in order for him to open up to her even more. “No, I haven’t,” Severus lied, looking dead straight into the mediwitch’s eyes.  
“Very well. Just one moment.” Poppy searched through her desk and looked for something. Her fingers settled upon an emerald orb and pulled out of the drawer. “If you ever have the urge to hurt yourself, please say Paulo Domum. It will transport you to me and I will be able to help you. Even in the middle of the night.”  
Severus nodded, blushing slightly. He missed having someone care about him, even if that someone was his teacher.  
“You are now dismissed.”  
The boy slipped the orb into his pocket and left the room quietly.  
**Where did I go wrong?**  
The memories pulsed through Severus’ mind as he lay in his bed at one in the morning. Finding his mom dead in the kitchen. His father raping him. Being bullied by both the Gryffindors and Slytherins. Getting called names by his housemates.  
He was unable to sleep after his conversation with Poppy. The talk had forced memories that he pushed to the back of his mind to resurface and he didn’t like that at all. His wrists itched and the urge to slice them open was stronger than ever. On his nightstand laid a potions life. Severus slipped that into the pocket of his sweatpants, ignoring the emerald orb that Poppy had given him. She would never understand; she was the one that had forced those memories to resurface in the first place.  
Severus snuck out of his dormitory stealthily and into his common room. No one was up that late and he was unnoticed. He slipped out of his common room and into the hallway. He couldn’t stand the dungeons any longer, the stench of death and depression was too much to take anymore! Plus, it reminded him of his father and that made things one thousand times worse. He needed to talk to Lily, damn it.  
Slowly, Severus found himself in the hallway that the Gryffindors dominated. He slipped into the nearest bathroom (unaware that this bathroom was startlingly close to Lily’s dorm) and unsheathed his knife, pressing the cool blade against his wrist. Adrenaline rushed through his body and he pressed the blade down and ran it against, biting down as he felt the stinging pain. All the negative memories slipped away as the pain sizzled down and Severus did it again, longing to feel the relief of pain. The blood began spurting out of his wrist. This startled Severus as he realized he had cut an artery. This didn’t stop him though, he ran the blade against his wrist quicker and quicker. He became extremely lightheaded and passed out with a loud ‘thump’.  
**I lost a friend**  
Idalia Meyers, the Gryffindor Prefect was concerned. She had seen a shadowy figure sneak into the girl’s bathroom. Usually, the Gryffindors would use the bathroom connected to their dorms, but this person hadn’t. She must have been sick and not wanted her housemates not to know. Idalia became even more concerned when the person didn’t leave the bathroom and she heard the faint noise of someone collapsing on the ground. Taking a deep breath and with her wand in her hand, Idalia entered the bathroom.  
What Idalia saw next left her feeling extremely nauseous. A boy, one with greasy black hair, laid in a pool of his own blood. Idalia felt the contents of her stomach enter her throat and she vomited into a toilet, her eyes burning. She reached up and flushed the toilet and cast a quick spell to clean her hands. The boy held a knife. Blood was spurting from the other hand. Idalia ripped her robe and applied pressure to the wound. This didn’t stop the bleeding at all and she ripped another strand of her robe off and turned that into a tourniquet, trying to prevent the boy from losing any more blood. She yelled, “Help me!”  
**Somewhere along in the bitterness**  
Lily Evans was awoken by her prefect yelling and sat up quickly in her bed. None of her dormmates were awoken, but she also had the reputation of being the lightest sleeper. The yelling sounded like it came from the bathroom outside of their common room. She quickly put her slippers on and ran out, entering the bathroom and noticed the enormous bloodstain first. Then she noticed Severus Snape laying on the floor with a knife in his hand. Her Prefect, Idalia, looked awfully distraught.  
“Severus,” she whispered to herself, “Why?”  
“Can you help me?” Idalia asked, “I need to report to McGonagall. Just keep applying pressure to his wounds and prevent him from bleeding out. Don’t remove any bandages, I’ve ripped my own robe into a few shreds so keep adding more.”  
“Yes m’am,” the redhaired girl replied. Idalia ran off to go tell McGonagall. Lily had no idea how Severus even ended up here but she assumed that Severus couldn’t stand the stench or the dark emotion of the dungeons anymore. Or maybe he had wanted to talk to her. This thought stung and she couldn’t stop a tear from trickling its way down her cheek. She couldn’t help but think that she was somehow responsible for this.  
Lily gently removed the knife from Severus’ grip. His robe slid down his arm a little and Lily could see the letter ‘w’. Morbid curiosity prevented Lily from stopping there and she slowly rolled it down, seeing that he had carved the word ‘whore’ into his arm. The cuts also looked to be recent. Tears began running out of Lily’s eyes uncontrollably and she let out a sob. Why wasn’t she there for her friend when he needed her the most?  
**And I would have stayed up with you all night**  
Idalia entered McGonagall’s living quarters (she had been granted permission beforehand) and found her professor sipping tea next to a fire. Her grey hair laid flat on her back. “Can I help you, Idalia?” Minerva asked before she saw Idalia’s appearance.  
“There’s a kid in the bathroom- he tried to kill himself!” Idalia had a rather dishevelled appearance. Her normally pristine robes were in tatters and her blonde hair was falling out of its bun. Idalia’s clothes were covered in blood and there was a streak on her face when she tried to wipe a tear out of her hazel eyes.  
Minerva floo called Poppy, who then flooed into Minerva’s living quarters. The two of them followed the prefect to find Severus unconscious on the ground and Lily crying, holding a bandage to his arm that had managed to stop bleeding. “Oh dear,” Poppy said, remembering how she had asked whether he had self-harmed after his fight with the Marauders.  
**Had I known how to save a life**  
Severus had lost so much blood that Poppy needed to get another healer involved with healing him and assessing the damage. Enter Johnathan McCloud, a muggleborn healer with a passion for medicine. The older man’s brows wrinkled with concern when he saw the boy. “There’s been so much blood loss and not enough blood flow to his arm. I think we need to amputate it.”  
“But John, he has a passion for potions. How will he react to this? He might never get to make a potion again in his life!” Poppy asked, looking down at the boy. She had managed to heal Severus’ wrists, but he would have some scarring there for the rest of his life.  
John furrowed his brows even more. “It’s either we amputate it or he dies from infection. He’ll have to learn how to adapt.”  
He spelled a painkilling potion and blood replenishing potion into the stomach of the boy and called for a surgeon who would amputate the arm. “He’s extremely lucky he was saved when he was. Without the tourniquet, he would have bled out.”  
**Let him know that you know best  
** Cause after all, you do know best  
Severus woke up, surprised as to why he was in the hospital wing. On his left was a red-haired girl that he immediately recognized as Lily. His left wrist was itchy, but when he tried to scratch it, there was nothing there. “Where’s my arm?”  
Poppy heard this and ran into the room, “Thank goodness you’re up. Unfortunately, we were forced to amputate your arm because you had lost so much blood.”  
“B-but how am I supposed to do anything,” Severus asked, wiping a tear from his eye. Lily also had red eyes, signalling that she had been crying earlier as well. A third person, a Gryffindor prefect entered and looked at Severus, also with red-rimmed eyes.  
“You’ll learn to cope, Severus,” Poppy said, stroking his hair.  
**Try to slip past his defense  
** Without granting innocence  
“Why can’t I fucking dress myself!” Severus yelled at Pomfrey. Everything was fine with the boy physically, but Poppy needed to work with the boy, helping him to adapt to his one-handed state. He may have just woken up but that didn’t mean that he wanted to spend more time in the hospital wing than he should. Severus was struggling to dress himself and he hated it. He couldn’t even put on his shirt without help.  
Throughout the day, Severus slowly learned how to put his shirt, pants, robe, and shoes on. After each accomplishment, Poppy gave him a thorough amount of praise. Severus thought this was awfully stupid. Why is she praising me for things I already knew how to do? Is it really that hard to put on a shirt? He thought.  
“Can I go now?” Severus asked.  
“First we need to talk about what your father did to you. And then I’m going to have you come in every Wednesday after today.” Poppy said.  
“It’s none of your business!”  
**Lay down a list of what is wrong  
** The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And I pray to God he hears you  
Severus slowly began to recover throughout the school year, except he was constantly afraid of going back to his father at the end of it. How was he supposed to deal with his father after all of this?  
At least he had Lily. He and Lily were now closer than ever. She helped him with simple things. She was even tinkering around with a prosthetic arm to move as his old one did. It was proving to be extremely complicated. Severus had told her numerous times that she didn’t need to do it at all.  
Severus had a few slip-ups. He had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from his sexual abuse and had often experienced flashbacks. Thanks to his physical therapy/emotional therapy with Poppy every Wednesday, those flashbacks had reduced in number and severity. He had also learnt how to function with one hand.  
Poppy had also placed a charm on Severus that would alert her whenever Severus tried to hurt himself. Slip-ups happened infrequently, but each time Severus tried to hurt himself, he was transported to Poppy’s office where he was forced to talk his feelings out.  
One day at supper, Severus was given a letter from Poppy, instructing him to meet with her and Dumbledore in her office.  
**How to save a life  
** How to save a life  
“I’ve chosen to adopt you,” Poppy said, during her meeting with Severus and Dumbledore. “I know what your father does and no muggle officer will let him get away with it. But you will be staying with me and once I adopt you, you will be free from him.”  
“Thank you,” Severus said, a rare smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was more intense than I planned it to be. I'm also sorry about the late update, I got tracked up in finals :/ and I am still waiting for my results to get back. Anyways, I really liked writing this, it was super intense. I didn't really have an idea planned out but I really like what I decided to go with. 
> 
> The next (and final) chapter will be the epilogue and will likely feature Snape/Lily. I'm planning on using another song by the Fray (I'm debating whether to use Never Say Never, Dead Wrong, Syndicate, or You Found Me)
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I thought I would gift you all something for the birthday of Severus Snape! I know this kind of sounds rushed but my past few days were quite busy (I was hospitalized because they suspected I had appendicitis) and I wanted to get this out before today! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
